abovefate | Inbox

[ snorts. ] ...you sure you accomplished all that? But I guess I don't know if I managed to fully convince you that you're mine. How many marks will it take, I wonder.

[ ooh. He really likes hearing that ]

A little more than that. There is someone else who is very adamant on calling me his.

[ childe quirks a brow. ] Who? [ his fur bristles and he shoots a glare over his shoulder. ] Because you're going to tell them that, no, you're mine. [ he's not losing another fucken person, least of all to somebody else. ]

Haruki.

I gave him my word I will become his herald. "At the end of your wanderings, come back to me". That's what he asked.

And you agreed? [ growls, reaching to shove him back. ] Then why don't you mark him?

[ he should have expected Childe to get jealous but he still didn't anticipate the intensity of it. He's clearly taken aback, and then he just stares for a few moments ]

... It's different with him.

[ he feels stupid. he wishes he knew he had already made a promise. ] So you've been indulging me, why, because I'm just some stupid mortal?

[ he doesn't know what to say. Things aren't like that with Haruki - or at least he doesn't think so. He made a promise because he doesn't want him to be alone. ... And because he doesn't want himself to be, either. ]

Why do you care what I do when I'm done with everything else? With my revenge, with helping Lesser Lord Kusanali. It isn't as if you planned to stick with me, your heart is elsewhere.

...tell me how successful you think I'm going to be in raising the dead? [ he sinks back into the bed and shuts his eyes. he hates how emotionally charged he can get, but he feels lead on. if he intended to go off with another version of himself, then why couldn't he have said so earlier? he supposes it's not the most surprising thing given how the both of them had turned things around so suddenly... something had to have happened, and now he knows what. ] Because I care about you.

I don't know. But you don't know if he isn't somewhere else either, and even if you care about me, if he showed up ... would abandon him to be with me?

Haruki has no one else. If I don't force my way into his world he won't let anyone else in. He doesn't have Lesser Lord Kusanali, or the traveler, or even you. He doesn't even know the truth of what happened to Niwa and everyone else in Tatarasuna. He's my responsibility.

It's not as if he's completely incapable of connecting with anybody. Tsukiakari also became a god, but he took it a step further and destroyed not only it, but also everybody and everything in it. He never learned the truth, but still managed to forge several strong bonds. But [ his lips draw to form a tight line, silence descending on them for a few moments before childe sighs. ] But if you're going to extend the olive branch and be the first person he needs, then fine. I hope whatever you two end up doing at the end of everything works out for the both of you. [ he does want that little shit to be happy too, because he cares about all versions of scaramouche. the same could be said for any version of zhongli he'd meet. ]

...you're not mine then. Do you know how stupid I feel right now?

[ he lets out a little frustrated noise at that, because he doesn't like the arrangement. Even though he knows he's nothing at the end of it all, that he's not worth leaving Tsukiakari or even just the Tsaritsa for, he doesn't want to leave things at this ]

Just what are you imagining? I told you it's different with him. Our relationship isn't like this.

Can't I also be yours while being promised to him?

I don't want him to take you away... [ is he jealous? yes. he hates admitting it, but he's been jealous from the start of, well, everything. even back on the production. especially back on the production. and the scara's like to think they're the jealous ones? childe is just as bad. ] But, yeah, I guess our intentions don't interfere with one another.

... Mm.

If I asked you to stay with me and betray everything else - abandon Tsukiakari, your family, the Tsaritsa ...

would you do it?

...you ask me that now? I don't know what the hell I'm doing anymore.

[ he's so confused. There is so much he wants, so much he wants to demand, but it wouldn't change things - he has no intention of backing away from his promise to Haruki. And he can't fully commit to Childe when he will always feel as if he'll be tossed away when a better option comes along.

... But he doesn't want to let go of him either. He brings his hand to the mark on his wrist, tracing it gently ]

I don't want to lose you.

[ he reaches for his hand. ] I don't want to lose you either. [ he brushes his fingers over the mark. ] I can't lose anybody else. Do you know why I chase power? Because maybe I'll eventually be so powerful where I won't ever have to lose anybody ever again.

... Mmm. Are you sure you're not going to just end up chasing something impossible like Haruki and I have been doing?

Isn’t that technically what everybody does? Chase happiness? Chase love? Chase power? We’re always vying for something we don’t have… whether it’s something we lost or something we crave. [ he shuts his eyes and sighs, giving a tug on mochi’s arm. ] I’ll do my best to keep you happy while we’re together. I’m sorry I’m a jealous wreck… but once a mess always a mess.

... I like it that you're jealous. And I'm jealous too. It's just difficult to handle while we're not exclusive.

I know exclusivity is kind of an impossibility, but it doesn’t stop a part of me from craving it, which, I don’t know, maybe is why I get like this? it seems like most people have multiple lovers, but imagine having one person that was all yours.

For the record, I like when you get jealous too.

If it were for me you would all be just mine.

[ he's going to finally rest against him again, leaning in to kiss his cheek ]

I don't really "have" multiple people. No one is really just mine.

Anybody would be lucky to call you theirs. [ childe tugs him into his lap and circles his arms around him. drops a kiss on the back of his neck. ] I want to see the mark you gave me. Take a picture of it next time you’re fucking me into the bed.

... I don't know if the mark will be the only thing I capture, if you're letting me take a picture of it.

You plan on aiming a little lower?

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.

Re: Day 73.