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I know. Don’t you think there’s a reason I never said anything… [ he trails off into a brief laugh. ] And, yeah, you could, but as ridiculous as it sounds it’s true. [ his arms and tentacles wrap around him, holding him tightly against his chest. ] I just like you. [ doesn’t matter what he’s done, because childe has done some pretty shitty things too. ] I look forward to getting to know you better. [ he nips at the back of his neck. ] And you’re always welcome to share my bed. [ there’s more implied there. ]

I never liked you. You've always been irritating and a nuisance. You still are.

[ but here he is, staying snuggled against him and making no attempt to move away ]

But getting attached to me can't possibly be good for you, you know.

[ ouch, that does sting a bit, but childe hides it behind a smile. he shouldn’t be surprised, really. ] Do you still feel that way right now? And what makes you say that, because of the other you, or just you in general, because if it’s the latter, then the same could be said about me…

I don't know if I still feel that way. But since you still remember me and we're far away from the Fatui, I don't mind getting the chance to truly know you. I've only known you as a coworker after all.

... But it's because of your little bird. I'm not him and even if you say you know it, you're in love. This is going to keep eating at you. You know, that I don't look at you the same way, that I don't remember everything you shared together.

Are you really that much of a masochist?

I know that some of my feelings are spilling over, but there’s not much I can do about that. It’s not love, but I definitely care about you, and while that may be because of him I would have pushed at you regardless. I’m annoying, remember?

I know you don’t feel much of anything about me, and… that’s fine, I’m sure you have plenty going on already. If you want me to stay away, then all you have to do is say so and I’ll do my best. I don’t want you feeling uncomfortable because of me.

[ also, yes, he’s a masochist, but this time he can’t help it. ]

It's not that I want you to stay away.

[ He's silent for a few long moments as he considers whether to say it or not. But eventually... ]

But I don't want to hurt you.

And I don’t want to hurt you either. It’s part of the reason I keep reiterating how I know you and him are different, …I don’t want you to think there’s this expectation, and that I’m only doing any of this because of him. [ he manages to pull out of scaramouche, his knot having shrunk enough to make it relatively painless for the both of them. his tentacles also recede into his back. ] I want to get to know you too. [ he sits up and moves out of the bed, stretching. ]

And maybe if I bother you enough you’ll fight me. [ grins. ]

[ no don't leave. He does let out a surprised noise when Childe moves out of him and then out of bed, and he seems to be just about to ask to come back, but he holds himself back. ]

If he finds out you fucked me he's going to kill you.

You know that right? I know myself.

…maybe. [ he knows scaramouche is going to be pissed, but it’s not like he has any intention of breeding mochi, and his stupid corruptions require that he be close to somebody. not to mention he doesn’t love mochi, he loves tsukiakari. ] I know he’d be livid if I bred you, since that’s… our thing… [ childe sits back down, feeling more exhausted from the conversation than the sex. he flips back and looks at mochi. ] I lose no matter what… you know, the wish I was promised was going to be used to become immortal, so we could stay together, but now I don’t know what I’m going to do.

[ he can't address any of that serious stuff, his brain shortcircuits when he hears the word "bred". What? What the fuck? what does that mean? ]

If you what.

[ childe stares at him, confused, and then oh… right… His own face colors and he sits up abruptly. ] Nothing, it’s nothing. Let’s get in the bath.

You can't just drop that and leave.

Ah hahahahaha haha. [ holds his arms up in front of him, as though he’s innocent of saying the word. ] I, I go into heat, and need to be d- dicked down, maybe I got in the habit of asking him to breed me like I were some, some bitch. That’s it, that’s all it is. [ kill him now. ]

[ he's the one who asked he can't complain. ]

So you're the one getting bred, and that's off limits, but you still need it.

[ covers his face in his hands. ] …no, there’s more to it than that. Getting fucked and getting bred are d- different. [ turns his back on mochi and slowly expires. ] It’s more involved… [ he doesn’t want to go into detail aloud. ] But, h- Hah, breeding aside, I… I didn’t want to ask if, maybe, hahaha… [ kill him, someone strike him down right now. it’d be a mercy!! ] you could… help me. I’ll do whatever you need in return.

With what? Breeding or fucking?

…fucking. Just fucking. I’m going to be a mess in heat, and I just need to take the edge off. [ he considered going back to the sex shop ruin your stock up on things, but he knows they don’t really help. ] I’m not looking to get bred. [ not by anybody other than scaramouche. his Scaramouche. ]

... All right. I can set some time for you.

But I should probably tell you. I have other lovers.

I kind of figured. It doesn’t happen all that often, and if you’re busy then I’ll figure something out. The production enjoyed taking control away from me, so a number of my corruptions make me lose it in different ways.

[ he reaches for mochi’s head and ruffles his hair. ] I’m glad you’re getting the love you deserve.

It's not—

[ he can't say it's not love, because ... isn't it? He felt it from Sudoh. he can't just deny it, especially not after he agreed with him about it ]

It's just weird. I don't really know what to do with it.

…mm. It’s fine if it’s not that intense of a feeling. Having special people is still nice. People that… understand you, people that you don’t always necessarily need words for, …they just kind of know what to do. [ childe gets up and heads toward the bathroom. ] I’m happy for you regardless…

I’m start the bath. [ the come in whenever is simply implied at this point. ]

[ he's following shortly after, because in the end he doesn't want to stay alone ]

... It just doesn't feel right for me to have that sort of thing.

No matter how I think about it I've only made things worse for anyone who ever got involved with me. But I guess for you, your little bird was different.

[ the bath is drawn and there are suds oozing over the edge, because he put too much bubble bath in. he climbs in, offering a hand to scaramouche. ] It didn’t start that way. [ childe laughs, reminiscing. ] The day he arrived on the show the first thing we did is fight… and then die.

It took persistence, but you said it yourself, no, I’m stubborn and annoying… so eventually he had to consider the nature of my feelings, because who else would go through all of that for a person, hm!, either a complete idiot or somebody that genuinely cared. [ and childe is clearly an idiot that does genuinely care. ]

... Maybe it's good that he found you then. I guess I can take care of you until he's with you again.

[ taking his hand ]

I'm tired now. But after, I should tell you more about what Dottore did to me. If our past is the same you need to show it to him.

[ tugs him into the bath and snakes his arm around him. ] He can be as mad as he likes about you, but he should know better than anybody else the kinds of stuff you went through… [ he just wants all scaramouches to be loved, but he will avoid breeding, since that is their thing. ]

… [ childe frowns. he doesn’t like the direction this is headed. ] He’s involved with Dottore. [ he’s almost afraid to know what he did to him. he knows a little, but he’s sure it’s not even half as much as what truly happened. ]

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