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I don't know. Maybe it's like you said and I'm confused. I'm not stupid enough to think this is how love should be. I just killed you and asked you to do the same. We get off on that sort of stuff.

But I felt like saying it. Why does it bother you?

[ scaramouche's explanation doesn't make him feel any better about any of this. it seems to confuse him more. and maybe it bothers him because it hurts more than he's willing to admit. ] Because I'm a monster, and you don't love monsters. You hate them, you fear them, and you... keep them at arm's length so they don't devour you...

Since when does that bother you? I never thought you'd have these thoughts. Is that because you're a segment? Or is that what you've always thought?

Not that it matters. Of course you're a monster. Tartaglia and I are monsters too.

[ dottore grabs scaramouche's face and squeezes his cheeks. ] Tartaglia is a human and you are a puppet made to look human. Even if you commit a bunch of different heinous atrocities there is no damning you, ...forgiveness will always be offered to you in some way, shape, or form.

But I am a monster. A beast parading around in a human skin suit. [ he releases scara's face and grabs his hand, bringing it toward his mouth. ] Did you ever wonder why I have red eyes and sharp teeth... did you ever wonder why, despite having you, I still brought in other human experiments...

No. Because to me it doesn't matter. Just like it doesn't matter that I am made to look human - I am not. I never will be, I'll always be different. And even if my looks may fool idiots into thinking I'm beautiful and pure ...

At the end of the day inside I'm just filthy and disgusting.

You being a monster has never been a secret. Why would you think that'd change things for me?

[ dottore's brow furrows as his lips draw to form a tight, thin line. it's changed how people see him his entire life, so why would he suddenly think that scaramouche is an exception? he's sick and tired of getting hurt, but... out of everybody scaramouche has seen the absolute worst bits of him. spending all that time with him in his lab had to have revealed his true colors... and scaramouche is certainly smart enough to see... ] Nonsense, no part of you is filthy or disgusting. [ he sets a knee on the bed and leans towards him. ] Inside and outside you are beautiful. [ dottore reaches for his chest, setting a hand over where scara's heart would be. ] Feelings don't have to make sense and that's why they're useless.

I destroyed my world and everyone in it just to protect myself. And I would do it again.

[ he brings his hand on Dottore's, taking it and holding it ]

Maybe you can think of this as another experiment.

[ snorts. ] ...you say that like it's a bad thing and that I don't regularly think about setting the world on fire just to watch everybody scream and melt. [ he looks at their hands. ] Another experiment... [ an experiment in... understanding... feelings...??? ] Is that what you want me to do?

I don't know. But I don't want you to see like this either. It's different from just strangling you.

When Tartaglia told me "I love you" I killed him over and over at least a hundred times. Maybe I just want to avoid that.

I did think about how I should kill you over and over again a few times already... [ because accepting love is harder than murder. murder is easy! dottore understands scaramouche's reaction to i love you more than he does the i love you, itself. ] Feelings are complicated, and you clearly felt just as lost as I do now when that idiot carrot confessed to you. [ his tentacles slither onto the bed and start pawing at scara's legs. ] ...will you say it again?

[ It doesn't feel right saying it again because of course his thoughts go back to Childe. What would he say if he told him he told Dottore he loves him? Would he be hurt? Would he be upset or worried? It's easy to discard the thought when he's in the middle of an emotionally charged situation, but now that he's perfectly lucid, he can't help but feel like he's betraying him.

Something he really needs to talk to him about.

But he can't lie anymore ]

... I love you.

[ dottore can't bring himself to reciprocate the feelings yet... he's still having a bit of a time parsing that scaramouche feels something for him, but he does kiss him with as much passion as he can muster, trying to convey in his own way that he does... feel something for him too. he nips at his lower lip, his hand sprawling out over his chest as his tentacles slither up the inside of his legs. ] Beautiful, [ sits back, ] so beautiful... there isn't anything I wouldn't do for you, my dear Kamrava. Let me give you all the pleasure you deserve and then some.

[ There's something nice about hearing Dottore call him beautiful. Maybe it feels even nicer knowing this man knows him inside-out, in literal ways. He's seen everything of him. Has seen the most ugly sides, has seen him at his most pathetic. And he still thinks he's beautiful.

Maybe the only way he can love him is as his most beloved experiment, but he's fine with that ]

Then — take me and show me everything I deserve.

... [ dottore hesitates, padding the silence with some more kisses to scaramouche's neck. ] I'm afraid that here I'm limited in what I can do for you. I want to give you so much more than I'm able to do here... [ he sounds frustrated. ] But, still, whatever I can give you I will give you. [ he marks his neck, groaning into the skin as his tentacles peel away at the layers of clothing scaramouche has got on. ] Whatever you want, tell me, and I'll do my best... you're all I can think about, and all that I want, ... [ one of the tentacles coils around his cock once it's free, stroking him from base to tip. ]

[ he'd answer him with something equally ridiculous, and yet the words die in his throat as the tentacles keep stroking him. He lets out a soft moan, rocking his hips toward that touch, clearly wanting more ]

A--ah ... so you're obsessed with me? Who would have guessed.

Are you just realizing that now? I have been obsessed with you for years. You are something special, Rava, and I want you all to myself.

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