abovefate | Inbox

I'm only saying it to give you an out if you want to go somewhere else. ... It bothers me. That you are upset for a game. That you were hurt there. That my unit was hurt there.

And I don't know what to do with any of this. Focusing on you not being able to refuse orders seemed easier.

I don't *want* to be anywhere else. [ shoves him back and lays on top of him. ] At least we won, because otherwise you may have gotten to see how bad it was. [ turns into a fox and buries his face in his tail. ] ...welcome to hell. Shit like this is going to happen nonstop. [ going to burrow under his shirt. ] You can always come to me if this bothers you this badly.

[ he's going to let him go under his shirt and keep him there, bringing his hand to his back to pet it ]

Would that change anything? It already happened anyway.

Going left instead of right is just going to change the *kind* of suffering we endured. How would you have reacted if you had seen me?

I don't know.

Maybe I would have tried to destroy everything.

[ crawls up his shirt and licks his chin. ] I’m glad you weren’t there. I don’t know what I would have done had you been trapped in the car.

The same you did for the others, I suspect. How is dying is a game? Is it the same as when we did?

I am sure I would have been a bit more frantic. [ a broken laugh. ] It's... [ shrugs. ] Dying is not the worst part of the games. It's everything leading up to it.

The train took us out almost instantly. Some of the deaths in the games are long and drawn out.

One of the first few games I was in I was made into a human candle and each round the flame on my head just melted more and more of me.

You told me about that one. For me torture isn't a big deal. But for you ... I can imagine it was distressing.

I can stand certain things... but shit that reminds me of the abyss in any fashion just... [ shakes his head. ]

Is that what the abyss felt like...?

[ doesn't look comfortable talking about this... but... ] It's influence feels like it's splitting you apart, so it can reshape and reform you. Twisting the person you used to be into something... something new...

I think that's why that kind of thing messes with me so badly. Just dredges up all that crap.

Do you feel like you're no longer you, after your time spent there and here?

I'm definitely not the same person I was before I fell into the abyss. And here... this place annoys me more than anything. It's like a test of patience.

But do you regret it? Falling into the abyss, arriving here ... things are different than they were in Teyvat, no?

No. I don't regret the person I've become because of the abyss. As for here... there are definitely things I'm thankful for here. It hasn't been all bad.

We wouldn't have gotten intimate like this anywhere else. Even with your stupid way of courting me by asking me to fight you.

How do you know a fight wouldn't have lead to a fuck?

I would have killed you for suggesting I'd fuck you.

I wouldn't have suggested it so much as let it happen, because it would have happened.

And what would you have done to make it happen? After I kicked your ass no less. Though I'll give you that you look sexy bruised and beaten.

[ grabs a hold of scara's shirt and lifts him up, shoving him straight into the wall beside the upgrade he bought him. ] Are you itching to find out, Kuniku?

Yes.

[ he wraps his arms around his neck, pulling him close ]

Show me how you'd fuck me.

[ captures his lips in a heated kiss as he makes short work of scara’s clothes. ] I’m going to fuck you right up against this wall, Kuniku, so you’re on full display for me.

[ fuck, that's hot, and he's following suit pretty much instantly, kissing him back as he tries to get rid of his clothes immediately ]

If we were back home - I'd be the one pounding into you after beating you.

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