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[ childe is forced back a bit. ] Don't underestimate me and my abilities, Scaramouche. [ he grabs his shoulder and shoves him back, hard, pinning him to the bed as he looms overhead. ] I don't have to accept a damn thing. [ a laugh that might edge on hysterical. ] You might think the Tsaritsa has me on a tight leash, but I'm a Harbinger to quench the thirst that threatens to rip me apart. [ bears down on him some more, his mask cracking. ]

A few people are working on keeping me around a little bit longer and if that's something that can even be in the works, then I can think it worthwhile to avoid a future where we 'won't see each other again'. If you want someone that cares I'm right here you asshole!

Shut up! Now you're just pissing me off.

[ he's going to bring his hand to his face, trying to push him away still ]

You don't even listen to me. It's all about what you want, so why should I agree with you!?

[ nevermind that he keeps asking him what he wants ]

Edited 2021-12-10 22:34 (UTC)

Good. At least you’re finally feeling something! because I’m not getting shit from you otherwise.

Do you hear yourself-! I am asking you what you want and how you feel, but you’re just ignoring it all.

It’s like you want to be miserable forever!

You won't make me happy. What you'll do is play with me for as long as it's convenient and then you'll throw me away. Then what will I be left with?

[ wow, ok, …that… hurts to hear. it’s not even a can’t. he’s so convinced childe is going to fuck up and hurt him that he’s not even being given a chance. ]

[ childe backs off, moving off the bed, and leaving scaramouche to himself. on reflection… maybe he’s right, because all he’s done is make a mess of everything since his descent into the abyss. his family. his former friends. even something as simple as getting the geo archon’s gnosis. he can pretend everything’s okay but the “nightmare” is his future and no amount of meddling is going to change that and he’s just going to hurt the other people he cares about. why add another, why… make things even worse… ]

If all you think I’m going to do is hurt you, that I’m incapable of making you happy, then… [ then what, he’s not even sure at this point. ] I’m just going to go. I don’t know what else to do.

I'm fine with not being happy. Happiness is fleeting and pointless in any case, it's never going to last. I'm not the one who asked you to make me happy so stop trying to make me believe it.

Why can't things just go on as they've had until now? What's gotten into you all of a sudden that you want to say stupid things like you care for me, or that we'll see each other after this.

If you're happy with your lovers then why can't this be just how it is?

Because maybe I do think I love you, …

[ he’s silent for a long time, rigid and lost in his thoughts. ]

If you’re not interested in this and it’s only going to make things more complicated and messy… then make me forget. Make these feelings go away.

You're obviously not thinking clearly. That game really did a number on you.

I’m waiting, Balladeer.

I'm not making you forget. If you're so determined about it, ask someone else.

[ he's quiet for a few moments, gathering his thoughts ]

I need time.

[ he is getting so many mixed signals his head is spinning. at this point he’s not even sure what the fuck scaramouche is referring to. he needs time for what, exactly… ??? ]

Right now do you want me to stay or leave?

... You can stay. But I'm tired. Sleep with me.

[ he moves back over to the bed and sits, kicking off his shoes and swinging his legs onto it. he feels so disconnected from everything right now. he hasn’t felt this hollow since… ] Alright. [ his brain stutters, having forgotten to reply at first, but kicking back into action. ] Rest. I’ll stay…

[ once Childe has kicked off his shoes he'll be the one to pin him down the bed, this time, resting right on top of him ]

You remember the game where we got drunk?

[ he doesn’t fight him, and instead just goes down. ] I remember. I didn’t play, but I remember afterward. [ … ] Why.

I had to drink for “anyone who has a crush or is in love”.

[ he feels like he might scream. ] …and why didn’t you say this before. [ you know, when he was hounding you about it. ]

I wasn’t going to say it first. And I’m not saying which of the two it is.

Why say it at all… [ now who is hurting who? ]

I thought you wanted to hear.

[ he’ll get himself comfortable on top of him, head resting on his chest ]

… my name is Kunikuzushi. It’s the name I chose after wandering Inazuma.

[ this is suddenly so bizarre, given the argument they just had. he’ll never understand scaramouche, but after another few moments of hesitating he sets a hand on his back. ] Do you want me to call you by that name at all?

[ he's not answering!! And going to pretend he's fallen asleep on top of him. Don't question it ]

[ what even, scaramouche! ]

…

Night, Kuniku. [ he traces random patterns on his back, since he’s kind of trapped, especially if he’s ‘sleeping’. ]

[ Oh. He likes hearing the nickname, and though he's still pretending to sleep, he brings his hand to his shirt and holds it a bit tighter. He's going to actually fall asleep after a bit, and when he does, he'll eventually start feeling something wet against his chest.

guess who's crying as he sleeps ]

[ childe does move a bit, so he can get comfortable. being shoved backward and having scaramouche lay on him hadn't landed him in the best position, so he shifts until he's feeling better; his own hand pressing him just a little bit harder into his chest. he looks around the room, since he's exhausted, but not interested in falling asleep here... but as soon as his shirt grows damp he looks down to catch the slick on scaramouche's face; tears. ] ... [ this is unexpected. he moves all of his tails atop him, reaching for his face to carefully wipe some of those tears away. ] I'm not going to intentionally hurt you if I can help it.

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